Well, Its got Best seller written all over it surely...?
Called 'Decision Points' - it will hopefully centre on 14 "historic and controversial" decisions Mr Bush made during his eight years in the White House.
1. First day in Office - Opening the Door on my own.
2. Discovered Europe and a few other countries exist.
3. Threaten that Mad Ass Hussein dude some more, dad never liked him.
4. Apparently under attack. Must find that Bin Laden fella we trained some years ago.
5. Discovered Mad Ass Hussein has chemicals of Mass Reduction. Hair dye, Bleach and a tube of squirty cheese, surely these are dangerous, must act now.
6. Sold Tony Blair an absolute kipper about Mad Ass being more dangerous than the Spice Girls, he's definitely on board now.
7. Once Tony's sold the rest of his spare Military equipment to Mad Ass we'll convince the world he's mental and its game on.
8. Discussed the ethics of the 'War on terror' with my Military advisers and legal team.
9. Looking for new Military advisers and legal team.
10. Spoke to Tony, had a great laugh discussing strategies, decided on 'Shock and Awe' tactics.
11. Firstly, shock everyone by having no tactics and watch them stand back in awe...
12. Decided on a Peace strategy - Seems we Peaced everyone off.
13. Wow, its windy today, probably won't decide on going to New Orleans for a while as everything seems OK so far.
14. Oops, been advised it apparently it isn't.
"It also examines the former Texas governor's decision to quit drinking, his discovery of faith and family relationships."
Well, lets just all be very f*cking thankful he'd come of drinking and believes in Faith...
What kind of faith is that then...? Or was I not at school that day! I know there are many people who aspire to be Jedi Knights, but it does seem that Bush got a little carried away with the whole Darth Vader take on the story if that's the case. To be honest if he'd been wearing head to toe in Black I'd be a little more understanding on the man.
Fortunately you could hear people all over the world whispering to each other, "Since he came off the drink, he's such a nice guy you know"... Before he quit, if he'd had a few beers it wouldn't take him long to get his old Adolf Uniform on and start Goose stepping across the ranch. His wife always laughs about the story of when he woke up drunk wanting to Invade Poland, but thankfully he's a changed man now.
So, it was worse than I feared...
Was he an alcoholic before he was voted in, or did everybody vote for a Drunk in the first place...? And yes, before people mention it, YES, we did know Tony Blair was a slimy egotistical f*ckwit maniac before he got into power.
Why people voted for him also is beyond me, but I'm sure if i were to look back at the competition it wouldn't have been good either way, and one Muppet's as good as the next, and whoever it would have been would have still been blowing Bush anyway so the name's really redundant... But it is scary.
Is there really a need to waste supplies on printing such a book? Well i believe there is. In many parts of the world people often have to go without so many basic things that to own such a book would count for so much in the lives of the many affected by such touching stories, thankfully soon the kids of Baghdad will soon be able to have their own treasured copy of Bush's memoirs to wipe their arses with...
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